Hello Kitty Car Accessories Are The Best

It's been five years since I lived in Tokyo, and after all this time there's still one thing about the country that sticks in my mind: Hello Kitty. Hello Kitty is everywhere in Japan. You can't turn around without bumping into that smiling kitty face. Even my rental car was decked out with Hello Kitty car accessories (seriously, a rental car).

Since it was introduced in 1974 the Hello Kitty phenomenon has been sweeping the world. First it gained traction in Japan, a country famous for its unusual devotion to weird, kitschy trends. That was to be expected, but I don't think anyone would have predicted that the cartoon cat would become popular in the (sane) western world, for the simple reason that Hello Kitty is a pretty one dimensional character. It's not as if the cat has a whole lot to offer more than a cute face - there are no Hello Kitty movies playing at my local theater, and I'm not aware of any other way the Kitty entertains us.

But it worked. God knows how, but Hello Kitty became a global thing. Today you can buy merchandise licensed by Sanrio for everything from lunchboxes to baby clothes to Hello Kitty car accessories and fuzzy dice, all of it notable only for the fact that there's a cute cat face smiling out from it.

Now, several years of living in Japan left me with a general, unfocused hatred of all things Nippon. I love Japan, I really do, but there's something about Japanese culture that winds me up the wrong way. It's all so vapid and pointless. Kids worship cartoon characters, spending their weekends hanging around subway stations dressed in cosplay costumes. I know that there are deep and mysterious reasons for the seeming oddity of the Japanese, but after a few years of living in Tokyo I was just about ready to buy a megaphone and yell at them to all grow up.

Hello Kitty car accessories bring my loathing flooding right back. I've gotten over my ill will towards Japan (or at least it felt like I had), but when my girlfriend appeared last week with a new car I felt all those old feelings bubble to the surface. She had Hello Kitty seat covers in the car, and when I asked her why she replied "I don't know... it's cute."

Now, my girlfriend has never come across as a Hello Kitty fan. She's never shown the slightest interest in the character, and that's exactly what annoys me. Hello Kitty is simple. It has no message other than 'look at me, I'm cute'. It's a blank slate onto which fans can project whatever characteristics they please.

It's empty, is what I'm saying, and in my mind it's a perfect reflection of the Japanese culture. Empty, cold and blank. That's cruel, I know, but a few years of living in the country can leave you with that impression.

But hey, what do I know. A couple of days ago I found my girlfriend shopping online. She turned to me with a dazed expression after an hour of surfing and simply said 'Hello Kitty car accessories are the best'.

Oh dear. I've lost her to the Kitty.